On The Inside

Despite what the title may sound like I am not a spy.
I am here today to talk about a "problem" that faces many youth in western society:
The Friend Zone.
I know, its a horrifying thought, isnt it? Well, actually no, it isnt (or at least shouldnt be). You see I have been trying to breach the friend zone for the past year, but there is a significant problem; I am a nerd (even if I am the coolest). Now you may be thinking "how can someone so awesome and good at coding be a nerd?!??!?!". Yeah, I was too, but apparently chicks dont dig that. <spoiler>Dont believe "The Social Network", most of us arent that awesome</spoiler>. You see despite my good nature and general sexiness girls dont like me. This could be for a number of reasons, so I have compiled a list:

1. I get queasy around anything with two "X" chromosomes
2. I cant fight because I puke at the sight of blood and punching reminds me of blood
3. Im fat (WHOA)

So, yeah. To all the guys in the friend zone, just enjoy being there.